Snifter: Does beer really help you in the bedroom?

By Snifter

- Last updated on GMT

Snifter: Does beer really help you in the bedroom?

Related tags Magna carta

This week, Snifter takes a look at brewer's droop, Brewdog, drones and Tim Martin...of course.

What an offal-ly good idea

One cannot help but admire the good work of BrewDog and its noble efforts to raise awareness of the organ donor register in its own typical style. Amid the usual hyperbole of calling on customers to “pledge their deaths to a good cause” the idea of pushing people to sign up the scheme is laudable.

However, considering the brewer’s new beer in support of the campaign is an 8.5% double IPA, one can’t help but be slightly concerned for the condition of said livers once their original owners have, as the company so eloquently put it, “shuffled off this mortal coil”.

Stout is the firm favourite

According to the Daily Star, beer can make you better in the sack! Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found a few pints makes the annual office sack race somewhat challenging.

However, apparently, the idea that beer is responsible for brewer’s droop is untrue – you can hear men rejoicing round the country, while reaching for the next pint. According to sexperts at the Star, a few pints can boost libido and help men last longer in bed. Apparently stout is best, so I can see a whole new marketing campaign for Diageo. Mrs Snifter is less delighted with this news and is insisting I at least use a coaster on the bedside table.

Expect a hive of activity

Up until now, drones have primarily been used in theatres of war, and the biggest threat from a drone at the bar was being stuck next to the pub bore.

However, Snifter recently stumbled across some secret testing being carried out by Kurnia Aerial Photography in which the company has progressed from delivering ice cream to flying in glasses of Prosecco. Kurnia director Michael Kheng is now looking into getting his drones licensed, so forget beer flies, you might soon be fishing drones out of your pint!

A messy end is in store

JD Wetherspoon boss Tim Martin is a man never knowingly under-quoted but even Snifter was somewhat surprised to see him compare Brexit to the Magna Carta, the charter signed in 1215 that asserted the fundamental principle that the king was beneath the law. “Brexit is a modern Magna Carta, reasserting democratic control in the UK,” the mulleted Martin said.

What he fails to mention is that neither the monarch or the barons complied with its conditions, which led to chaos and a two-year civil war. King John also died of dysentery the following year – enough said!

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