City Diary – 10 July
Peak of pub perfection
Telegraph columnist Bruno Waterfield has found the perfect pub. He credits the Brunswick Inn in Derby with meeting eight of the 10 criteria for pub perfection identified by George Orwell in his famous article on pubs, The Moon Under Water
(it’s not a bad score given one of the criteria was serving beer in china mugs). Not least of the Brunswick’s achievements is combining “the great British tradition of contempt for the political class with the craft of making ale”. It serves
for £1.50 a pint a beer called Up Yours —
“a thoroughly tasty pint and a refreshing dig at Gordon Brown’s extra Budget taxes on beer”.
Barracuda spreads its nets
Creating greater customer loyalty is one obvious way of out-performing in this difficult pub trading climate. City Diary hears that Barracuda has hired Cocktail Marketing to ramp up its loyalty programme. Cocktail will be looking to create promotional brand partnerships with “synergetic” lifestyle partners that will reward Smith & Jones card holders with exclusive offers.
Rising costs of beer and botox
One St Austell tenant has a fantastic sense of humour. The female tenant has written to the brewer asking to leave by this October. She writes: “It has recently been scientifically proven than one landlady year equates to seven human years.
I am currently 34 — but look like a 238-year-old.
In order to stay on at the pub and maintain a youthful appearance I would require £32,000 of plastic surgery. It would take me in the region of 11 years to raise the money — by which time the price of a pint will have risen to £42 and I will have aged another
77 years. Besides, by then the Government will have banned the consumption of alcohol on license premises and all the pubs will have to adapt by turning into juice bars.”
Badger seeks new Blandford sett
With money too tight to mention, property disposals and redevelopment plans are becoming more and more important. City Diary notes Hall & Woodhouse has submitted a plan to build 200 new homes on the site of its old brewery in Blandford, Dorset — it wants to build a new one. The brewer has included crossings near the brewery’s visitor centre and at nearby Pigeon Close as part of a draft section 106 agreement to allay local fears over traffic.
Bog blogging beckons
Here’s a new one. The ladies’ toilets at JD Wetherspoon’s Ledger Building pub in London’s Docklands has its own 100-strong fan club on Facebook. Fans of the toilets at the Docklands pub have posted photos of the luxury décor on the popular website.
The creator of the group told The Docklands newspaper: “This is a group for everyone who likes the fabulous toilets at the Ledger Building. With its comfortable purple chairs, mirrors and great décor, more time is sometimes spent in there than in the actual bar itself!” Sounds like they might be a bit too comfortable.
Regent slides to thruppence
Walkabout operator Regent Inns saw its shares bumping down to a miserable 3.78p last week. Analysts at Dresdner Kleinwort say: “Trading conditions in the underlying market are horrendous and the group has crippling debt. We think there is a chance the equity becomes worthless.” Two weeks ago, Regent Inns said it would move to reduce costs at head office and at venue level. It’s selling and leasing back its freeholds to raise cash. Its aim is to maximise cash flow and reduce debt, which stood at just under £75m at the end of the last financial year. Non-core and under-performing assets are on the block. City Diary wonders whether it’s time to look for a private equity buyer for the Old Orleans restaurant chain or whether Maria Kempinska might want to buy the Jongleurs comedy chain she founded.
Citrus squeeze on G&T sippers
The middle classes are supposed to be feeling the pinch more than anybody. It comes as another grievous blow, then, that the cost of lemons — a vital ingredient, obviously, in a gin and tonic — has soared in the past year. A lemon now costs 28p compared to 12p a year ago. One pub operator offers City Diary this piece of advice: “We use limes in gin and tonics — the taste is much better.”
Tell Tim how it really is
Wetherspoon founder Tim Martin likes to hear a bit of negative feedback. The company is brave enough to print negative letters from its customers in the company magazine. Martin explains again why this is important: “The advantage of the glass half empty is that criticism can help to result in improvements, with much criticism holding clues for us about how we can improve the business.
It’s easy for people in any company to sit in an ivory tower.”
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