Cheers

Top footie and grub

Snifter accompanied his pals from Heineken to the UEFA Champions League Chelsea vs Barcelona game.

Before the match they took a diversion to the Fulham Mitre for a pint or four. Snifter opened the menu and laughed heartily when he read aloud: "Fulham Mitre: Morning Advertiser Pub of the Year finalist 2003-2004."

"So it's technically our fault if the grub's rubbish, then?" joked Snifter.

As it happens, the grub was top notch. And as for the match? Snifter couldn't believe how much Ronaldinho looked like a horse. Oh and Chelsea whopped Barca 1-0.

Pumpkin envy

Snifter thought men in pubs bantered about who's car had the biggest engine, but conversation at the George & Dragon in West Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, is more along the lines of "my pumpkin's bigger than yours."

Last week saw the annual competition of the pub's pumpkin club and 31 pumpkins joined drinkers at the bar. And the winning veg weighed 15 kilograms. What a whopper.

Wind-up merchant

A Keswick landlord was threatened with fart spray for refusing to serve a Pubwatch-noted trouble maker. Darren Michael Birkett appeared before West Allerdale magistrates and admitted threatening and disorderly behaviour.

Golden Lion pub licensee Terrance Knowles refused Birkett service after recognising him. So he returned with fart spray and sneeze powder. Birkett said it was meant to be a joke but now he faces a 12-week curfew between 8pm and 7am. He also had to surrender the fart spray.