Mark Daniels: When the cotton wool starts to itch...

Once upon a time, we were able to drive cars without wearing seatbelts and race up the M1 at mind-boggling (for the time), unrestricted speeds. People quaffed beers and smoked cigarettes without regard for themselves or those around them, and a man could climb in to a cannon and blast himself towards a loosely hung net without anybody worrying whether he'd get hurt or not.

But in today's politically straitened times, health and safety inspectors abound and all of the above fun has been taken away in an attempt to molly coddle the nation and wrap us all up in cotton wool to protect us from ourselves. We have become a bubble wrapped nation.

Even the twenty first century equivalent of It's A Knockout now takes place in a South American country with no regard for insurance or health & safety, hosted by Richard Hammond in front of a giant television screen broadcasting real life British people who have volunteered - yes, volunteered! - to have themselves punched in the face by robotic boxing gloves, jump at slippery bouncy balls and get knocked dozens of feet off a thin podium in to a shallow pool below, all in the name of entertainment.

It has to take place in a South American country because here ordinary, sensible people can volunteer to do something stupid and then hold somebody else accountable if they get hurt. Over there, they just get hurt and laugh about it.

Our obsession with protecting the masses from themselves is somewhat insulting to a nation made up, in the majority, of people who can make their own decisions and take the consequences for their own actions, and yet our Orwellian society thrives.

And yesterday I read that it could get worse. Health boards in Scotland are apparently going to be given powers to object to alcohol licenses in the country's on going efforts to kerb alcohol abuse. Said like that, few could argue that if it is to protect a nation's health it's a good idea, but history shows a horrible precedent once such bureaucratic interference is allowed to take place.

Health studies in general, like so many statistically-based studies, can be manipulated to show that anything is bad for you and that it should therefore be banned. I'd like to volunteer Marmite, statistically the most-loathed product in my house. But you've only got to look at the whole 'smoking in public places' issue to see the sort of power that such boards can evoke in order to get their way, and the devastating affect it can have on businesses and the way people live their lives.

Once health boards have got the power to veto alcohol licenses on the strength of public health, it won't be long before they can start pushing to restrict its sales further. Given their way, the most zealous of the health lobbyists would sooner see pubs closed than take notice of the positive social, well-being and economic benefits that communities get from the vast majority of them.

It's well documented that a glass of red wine can have positive health benefits, yet I can see a future where I'll only be allowed to sell my customers one glass of wine, and then they'll be allowed to sue me if I sell them a second for fear that I might be damaging their health.

I don't have a problem with asking such bodies for their advice when it comes to the matter of public safety and so on, but allowing such groups the power to affect my business simply because they believe it might be unhealthy for me to sell a product to a person who is more than capable of choosing whether to drink alcohol or a soft drink is putting us on a slippery slope.

I would therefore urge the Government not to consider taking this path, not to consider allowing yet another body to influence the already over-burdened decision making process of whether to grant a license or not, because before long such groups will have achieved nothing other than to simply drive formerly social individuals to become introverts, who can only buy their alcohol from a supermarket and drink themselves to supidity in the solace of their own homes.

And then who, I wonder, will they sue when the cotton wool they've been wrapped up in starts to itch?

Strictly Dance Behind The Sofa

On Wednesday morning I was woken by the sound of my mobile phone ringing. It was the local radio station wanting me to go on air to discuss the news that my uncle, Paul Daniels, has been chosen to go on one of those God-awful television shows. Having been asleep when this earth-shattering announcement was made, it was the first I'd heard of the news.

Now, I've never watched Strictly in my life and I would ordinarily not start watching now, but the general buzz of conversation that the news generated in my pub last night means that it will probably get watched and my locals have already announced their support for Paul in whatever the goal is that he's supposed to achieve in the programme.

So I, along with all my customers, would like to wish my Uncle Paul the best of luck. I might watch, but it'll be from behind the sofa.