Foam isn't where the heart is

As Yorkshire and other parts of the north are to get their own regional assemblies, I hereby declare the rest of the country to be a "swan neck and sparkler" free zone. John Prescott take note and don't give me "that gesture" in reply. Irreparable damage is being done to beer by the determination of brewers and publicans in the Midlands and the south to serve it "in the northern fashion". This entails forcing, driving and pulverising beer into the glass via a swan-neck pipe to which a sparkler is attached. Both these devices cause the beer to gush and foam, creating an unnecessary thick collar of custard and cream on top of the beer. Beers south of Doncaster aren't meant to be served that way. The method ruins the aroma and flavour of beers that should be served with just a natural thin line of foam. Peter Coulson, the MA's legal correspondent and a friend and colleague of long-standing through the British Guild of Beer Writers, phoned me last week in what I can only call a bit of a tizz. Usually the most urbane of men, Peter raged at the fact that a fine weekend in the Derbyshire Peak District had been spoilt by a pint of Marston's Pedigree, one of his favourite beers, being pulled in such an absurd fashion that it was virtually undrinkable. On a day of warm sunshine and after a long walk in the countryside, Peter and his wife, Mary, repaired to the nearest boozer in eager anticipation of a pint of Ped. Peter told me that the young woman behind the bar had to sweat, strain, heave and almost put her back out in a bid to produce a simple pint of ale. The swan neck and sparkler produced so much foam that she had to fill two pint glasses before she could produce sufficient liquid to measure a pint. And the resulting pint was, Peter said, all wrong. As a result of the aeration, Pedigree had lost its unique Burton aroma of sulphur, malt and hops. It tasted vinegary and he couldn't finish the pint. Burton beers aren't designed to be served "in the northern fashion". There's a famous pub in Burton-on-Trent called the Cooper's Arms. In the days when it was owned by Bass, you could order a pint of Draught Bass that came straight from a cask behind the bar. The beer was as flat as the proverbial mill pond and tasted divine. The manner in which Yorkshire beers are served is connected with the history of brewing in the region. Brewers developed a method of fermentation known as the "Yorkshire square". These two-storey vessels produce a beer with a high level of natural carbonation that creates a high level of foam. That's the way Yorkshire beer is brewed and Yorkshire drinkers expect a thick collar on their pints. A problem was created when many Yorkshire brewers replaced square fermenters with more modern, high-tech methods of fermentation. To replicate the thick head, beers had to be squeezed and pummelled by swan-necks and sparklers. The problem was compounded by the success in the 1980s and '90s of such Yorkshire beers as John Smith's and Tetley's, which were turned into national brands. Some brewers and publicans in the south responded by serving all their beers through swan necks and sparklers. Some years ago, when Eldridge Pope was still a brewer, I was handed a pint in the brewery tap in Dorchester that arrived with several inches of Angel Delight on top of the beer. Why, I asked, are you serving your delectable beer in this fashion deep in Dorsetshire? The response was illuminating: "The tourists expect it." I pointed out that it was February and there weren't many tourists around at the time, but the words fell on deaf ears. The beer, like Peter Coulson's pint of Pedigree, tasted wrong. Swan necks and sparklers alter the aroma and flavour of a pint. In particular, hops are driven out of solution into the head, leaving little hop character in the beer itself. Here's to the regional assembly in God's Own Country. Keep your sparklers, lads, and give us southern drinkers our own form of foamless independence. www.protzonbeer.com