TV Dinners - The Eastenders café

There are two big mysteries about the Queen Vic, the charming cockney local in the BBC's EastEnders.

The first is why, whenever anybody has anything nice to celebrate, they never go and do it somewhere more attractive and welcoming. The second is why it's never offered pub food. Perhaps, the answer lies in the burning down of the dastardly Wilmott's wine bar all those years ago, which left the Vic with no apparent competition and, therefore, without the need to chase after a share of the culinary purse.

The Vic remains, to this day, equipped with a moderate domestic kitchen rather than anything approaching commercial standards. The revolving-door policy of management in Albert Square's businesses, whereby any old passer-by is frequently left in charge of the tall/pub/club/shop/nail-bar may well have hindered the Vic's progress. The absence of a decent shepherd's pie in the Vic has left hungry Walfordians with a choice between the chip shop, owned by Ian Beale, or the caff, owned by, er, Ian Beale - though keen 'Enders watchers will have spied a little-used Indian restaurant called, with no apparent justification for the pun, the Argee Bhajee.

The Bridge Street Café, to give its full glamourpacked name, is sandwiched between the Fowler residence and the ridiculously-named Angie's Den (Angie clearly isn't Den and never was). It's hard to imagine that the tiny café space was shared with Sue and Ali Osman's minicab business in the early days, leaving little room for any other customers when stallholder Big Ron went for a cuppa. Since then, it's seen service as an all-night café and a bistro and, as most Walford businesses have, been owned by most significant players in the local commerce scene.

Beale is in his third stint in charge and his mum Kathy had a go too, as has Phil Mitchell, who put in the now-dead Laura as manager. The merry-go-round will presumably go on until Alfie gets his act together to put on the odd basket of scampi and a few baked potatoes. Until then, any character wanting a plate of chips will have to risk hearing those dreaded words falling from Pat's lips: "Can you look after the caff for a minute?"