It's time to sing a new song

Gastro pubs have passed their sell-by date, says The Daily Telegraph's pub writer ADAM EDWARDS the next big thing for the licensed trade will be the karaoke inn

Could summer 2005 be the beginning of the end of the gastro pub? According to the magazine Hotel & Caterer, the open-plan, pastel and spot-lit bar with its sanded floor, sun-blushed tomatoes and second-hand pine furniture is becoming overcooked. 'Four or five years ago it was the in thing, but now they're very formulaic, Caterer reported.

Despite its unattractive name, the gastro pub was one of the 1990s better inventions. It not only spelled the end of frozen lasagne, Piat D'Or and the laughably named Chicken Cordon Bleu (processed chicken stuffed with packet cheese and water-injected ham topped with tinned pineapple). It also thinned-out the over-abundance of public houses with smelly, floral, fitted carpets, horse brasses and hunting prints. It chucked out chintz and cheesy piped music and introduced Farrow & Ball and fine dining. And the result was that it spread across smart Britain like olive oil and Balsamic vinegar dressing.

Real ale replaced rot-gut, a pan-fried scallop was the new prawn cocktail and sticky toffee pudding was our Black Forest gateaux. Every chef claimed a connection to Gordon Ramsay and every dish was signature.

But distance brings distillation. And as the terracotta home of the marinated olive has moved further from its spiritual North London base, its name has more often than not become a euphemism for over-ambitious food, dull New World wine and a bar in Dulux and Ikea that looks like a provincial dentist's waiting room. The gastro pub, with notable exceptions, has become as tired a cliche as the '80s theme bar and the '70s Watneys Red Revolution.

But what will replace it? I believe the new sophisticated pub will be a cosy, old-fashioned boozer with a snug bar or two, retro British food and a sing-a-long.

This may sound far-fetched but in recent months Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho and his celebrity chums Kate Moss and Charlotte Church, have all confessed to a passion for karaoke. Mourinho loves the music machine and insists Chelsea players use it as a team-bonding exercise. Kate Moss has given a public karaoke rendition of Leader of the Pack and Charlotte Church has sung along to I Will Survive. Last month The Guardian reported 'karaoke is back and it's the coolest thing in town.

A karaoke gastro pub is an oxymoron. Something's got to give and it will almost certainly be the shaved parmesan and pastel shades. This could be the summer when fashionable society eschews its appetite for good taste and grilled goat's cheese and embraces Ottawan's Two pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and, of course, a retro plate of mushy peas.

Whisky keeps the spirits up

Last month a hotel guest at the Pennyhill Park Hotel in Bagshot, Surrey, bought a bottle of whisky for £32,000 and drunk the whole lot late one evening.

The bottle, a 62-year-old malt made by the tiny Dalmore Scottish distillery, is one of only 12 ever produced. The hotel manager David Broadhead described the buyer as a regular guest and added: 'He's got the bottle and he's got the presentation case, so at least it's on his shelf as a memento.

Broadhead failed to add: 'In case he doesn't remember a single thing about drinking it. Nor does he say whether the vintage whisky drinker ordered a second bottle. In my experience it is usually the second bottle of Scotch, however expensive, that is corked.

Sarnie's in a league of its own

I am impressed with chef Michael Thompson's sauteed steak on black pudding bread sandwich that won him PubChef's Pub Sandwich of the Year 2005 award. While this is a considerable achievement I have to say it is not in the league of the sandwiches eaten by the comfortably off who attend Premier division football matches.

According to Newcastle United manager Graham Souness, he and his players hate playing in stadiums 'where people are sitting on their hands eating prawn sandwiches.

I'm not surprised.

It must be disconcerting for a professional footballer to see a prawn sandwich hovering in mid-air in front of a spectator's open mouth. That said, I bet the Floating Prawn Sanger is a shoo-in for Pub Sandwich of the Year 2006.

Easy terms end in cross words

Carling, Britain's best selling beer, is to introduce the slogan 'Take It Easy on its pint mugs and staff T-shirts at music festivals this summer.

If I was a binge-drinking, drug-crazed hippie and was served by a barman with a 'Take It Easy T-shirt after queuing for hours in the mud for an over-priced utterly tasteless plastic mug of expensive lager, my reaction would be two-fold.

First, to punch the smug capitalist lackey's lights out and, secondly, to remark to his colleagues that with a T-shirt like that, 'I bet he doesn't drink Carling Black Label.