Counter culture

While we merrily sup the latest cider with added ginseng from its NASA-created glass or top up with the latest oak-aged Chardonnay, dark forces are at work. Like invisible fog from a Steven King story, it is creeping into every bar and restaurant, slowly eroding our freedom of spirit and our right to relaxation.

It is the culture of "not allowed".

During a recent early-doors tour of local bars, I experienced it in its full obstructive glory. In one establishment we were able to enjoy table service in one area - but the staff were not allowed to oblige if we sat 10 yards away. Elsewhere, the kitchen was not allowed to serve a menu item with anything except its clearly-stated components. In yet another glorious display of anti-service, we were not allowed to enjoy a particular drink in anything except the designated glassware.

I have no doubt that there are logical explanations for these licensing by-laws. Having been on the frontline for many years, I understand that certain control frameworks need to exist to achieve consistency. However, common sense and flexibility must be allowed to prevail.

It's the language used to convey these new rules to customers that I find most disturbing and sinister.

The phrase "not allowed" was not my language - it was the phrase commonly used by staff. An alternative choice of words may have passed relatively unnoticed, while a cleverly-worded phrase may even have been interpreted as good customer service. For example, instead of instructing us that they were not allowed to bring our drinks to a particular location, perhaps they could have suggested that we sit in a more comfortable area and enjoy the luxury of table service.

Ultimately however, it's maintaining the core service principles of our licensed premises that I'm concerned about - creating a customer-oriented atmosphere of welcoming, easy-going conviviality, not a series of head office-style regulations designed to produce an autonomous, robotic workforce at the expense of customer service.

The conspiracy theorist in me believes that the language of prohibition has infiltrated our havens of relaxation through the culture of removing personal responsibility from every aspect of our lives.

It is more acceptable now to forbid, legislate and make rules than it is to suggest, cajole and appeal to common sense. For better or worse, smoking is about to be banned in licensed premises.

Let's ban the language of "not allowed" while we're at it.