Chris Maclean: what it means to be drunk

I have been reflecting on what it means to be drunk.

It seems perfectly obvious but it isn't.

Sections 140-144 of the Licensing Act tell us we can't serve drunks, they have to leave when asked and they can't come in when we say no.

But I challenge any licensee to say they have never had a drunken person on their premises.

And it seems incredibly unfair that, given we are providing them with the alcohol, which they are paying for, when they have had a sufficiency, we throw them out.

But I think people who are drunk fall into three categories; those who are "merry", loose their inhibitions and become the life and soul of the party, those who become dysfunctional and struggle to perform tasks and, finally, those who become a nuisance or liability because of their drunkenness.

Its convenient to distinguish the three types but, in truth, they are all blurred. The lads playing cards yesterday afternoon were having a lovely time but, as the afternoon passed, they got noisier. At what point does it become a nuisance? If they are the only customers are they causing offence? Is it only offensive when other customers take offence? What about staff? And what exactly is offensiveness?

Last weekend a customer calmly regaled my wife with the details of his own excesses in the previous 24 hours. He regularly goes out at weekends and gets drunk. It seems that on Friday night, whilst drunk, he fell and hurt his face. Paramedics were on the scene and administered first aid. At this point he assaulted one of the paramedics and subsequently spent several hours in custody and now is facing assault charges. Good.

Pubs can be boisterous places. I played rugby for many years and the list of pubs I was thrown out of is long. So I am not opposed to boisterous high spirits but the ideal of violence or malevolence being the end product of drunkenness is unacceptable.

So I need to be vigilant about my drinkers. And hope I can spot the different types of drunk.