Chris Maclean: Make mine mild

I've heard some really good news. The brewery is going to produce a limited quantity of mild.

Okay, this isn't everyone's cup of tea.

But I have the utmost respect for mild. I just wish we could sell more of it.

I have a mathematics book from about 1750 that I use on my training course. In it there is a particular problem which states "If in a family of 7 person there are drank out 2 kilderkins of beer in 7 day..."

Think of it. 36 gallons.

288 pints.

Mum, dad and five children sitting at home and drinking more beer than many pubs could sell in a week.

Forget installing satellite telly and broadband. Move the sofa over, put in a nice stillage and await delivery of two kilderkins of beer. Marvellous.

Beer consumption used to be enormous.

But before people start comparing drunkenness of today with that of yesteryear it is fair to point out that the beer was probably quite weak.

Selling huge quantities of weak beer makes fantastic business sense. And socially the by-product of selling mild is that people go home mildly tipsy rather than roaring drunk.

Without wishing to put on my 'grumpy old man' hat, it does seem today that people are more intent on getting drunk rather than having a drink.

My nephew in Cambridge this weekend was still nursing a monstrous hangover at eight o'clock the following evening.

Increasingly young people are seeking the thrill of an alternate consciousness. Often I am asked for a double, or even treble, vodka. Twenty years ago such a drink would suggest a problem. Now it is often the standard.

It is as though, having reached the level of intoxication where things get fuzzy, only then can people say they have enjoyed themselves.

One of my customers worked in a bar during a local funeral recently. People were drinking heavily. Each round would consist of beers and shots. Lots of them. They all got very drunk.

Locally it will be remembered as a splendid send-off.

But I think I would rather they had all been drinking mild.