Chris Maclean: counter intelligence

I have a bank account at the Post Office. It is one of those stupid things that evolved as we moved into the new millennium. The Post Office, no longer content with dealing with post, now insists on dabbling in all sorts of diverse offerings. Car insurance. Banking. Bureau de Change​. Passport checking. And banking. It offers one of the best rates around and, for the first year at least, I qualify for free banking.

Except that it isn't.

The price I pay for banking is that I must queue with dozens of other hapless idiots who believe the Post Office is a public service.

The problem is that it is and it isn't.

On the one hand the Post Office plays fast and loose as a commercial concern offering a range of competitive services. For example, there is a priority queue for currency transactions. Never mind that some people have queued 20 minutes to post a parcel to their loved ones. Want to change your euros to sterling? Just jump the queue. When you get to the counter to sort your car tax out you are likely to get interrogated about your insurance needs and get a full financial shakedown. So what if you only wanted stamps? They are so keen to flog you their products and services they fail to deliver where it counts.

On the other hand, their counter management skills beggar belief. It is like the regime of a Soviet Baltic state during the Cold War. Eight counters are available in our Post Office. And how many are open? Never enough.

Here are some handy hints for the Post Office.

You are going to need more counters open at weekends. Not less. There are more people about.

You are going to need more counters open at lunchtime. Not less. Ditto.

You are going to need more counters open at the beginning of the month. Not less. That's when car tax needs renewing.

You are going to need more counters open at Christmas. Not less. People send cards.

My free banking comes very expensive. It usually needs a 20 minute queue. At times it is worse.

But the frightening thing I can see is the development of Post Office branches in rural pubs. If the malaise is contagious who knows what might happen?