Chris Maclean: Lent, abstinence and the lure of upholstery
I'm now three weeks into my upholstery class. Every Wednesday night my daughter and I go to a secondary school to learn the subtle art and craft of the upholsterer.
Many years ago a good friend and licensee stressed the necessity of breaking out of the cosy world of the pub and doing something completely different. Something that perhaps would be mentally and physically challenging and, most importantly, be away from the pub.
All too often I see licensees spending their leisure time in other pubs. Yes, I accept the need for social time and the need to make and maintain friendships. But the need to do something completely different is important.
One licensee I knew claimed that you could only survive three years in a pub before your selection of anecdotes ran out. After that you would be boring. Only by creating new experiences could you inject something into your stories ~ although I confess I never regale my customers with amusing upholstery tales.
The other thing, for me particularly, is that working here behind the bar all the time leads me into temptation. I drink. I drink far too much. Planning other activities helps me avoid such behaviour.
Next week is the beginning of Lent. For most people the event will pass by without notice. Traditionally in the Christian pattern Lent would be a time of abstinence, an opportunity for people to sacrifice something for a month. It is a good reason for people, and perhaps particularly licensees, to make a change in their habits. I usually try to do something. Last year, for example, I decided not to drink any spirits or drink at lunchtime. It started OK but Day Two and I'd got an invitation to a heavy lunch with some friends. Not drinking at lunchtime was quickly abandoned. Day Three and I had a raging toothache. The only cure for that was a large port and brandy. Thus drinking spirits became acceptable. Within the first three days my resolutions had been completely abandoned.
This year I intend to be more resolute. This year it will be no spirits at all and wine only when we are dining out.
Many years ago I worked in a small, very successful, village pub. The landlord and I sat and discussed the forthcoming Lent and contemplated what we would sacrifice. We both gave it a lot of thought and then decided, bizarrely, that we would not sell draught lager during Lent. The consequences were hysterical. Customers would ask for a pint of lager and, when that wasn't available, would opt for the most bizarre drinks. Something like Malibu and pineapple or grapefruit juice. Not selling lager was a publicity triumph. People came for miles for the amusement. We did, as a concession, sell bottled Indian lager but it wasn't the same.
Lent is not only a religious event ~ it can be an opportunity to do something different and perhaps be of benefit.
My father is still alive and almost ninety. He doesn't drink. He doesn't do Lent. It impresses me he has lasted so long. I sincerely doubt I'll make old bones like his. I somehow doubt I'll get into my eighties. But, unlike him, I will have some nicely upholstered dining chairs.
