Elvis man swings the MAshes
Headingley, scene of the most thrilling test match of all time, played host to this year's MAshes contest between Deuchars and Miller Brands — a little less dramatic, naturally, but still great fun and with Snifter once again a delighted participant.
On a typically grey Leeds day, Miller Brands, captained by Nick Miller, took first knock on the hallowed turf, where not only Botham and Willis but many other greats, including Bradman (300 in a day) and Edrich (310), had entertained over the years.
Snifter and William Lees-Jones — not quite the same ring to it as Sutcliffe and Hobbs, but effective nevertheless — built an opening partnership of 27 before the Mancunian, perhaps distracted by thoughts of the ticket he'd turned down for the European Cup final that evening, departed for 11, followed by Snifter on 17.
Geof Webber of Regent Inns (18), Ant Holme (19) and Ed Mckenna (16) both of Miller Brands, all contributed classily. But much to Deuchars' relief, after his match-winning 115 at Lords last year, Martin McCague of Sheps fell for 19.
Miller Brands was steered to 207 by 25 from William Goodyear (Miller) and a pugnacious captain's knock by Nick Miller, who despite the gammiest of legs hit 33 before Geoff Brown of Punch pinned him lbw.
Brown finished with three wickets, but the star "turn" was Coke's Andy Slee, who tweaked his way through the mid-order to finish with figures Shane Warne would have been proud of — 4-10, off 6.3 overs.
Lunch was preceded by a bantering session with Yorkshire and England legend Geoff Boycott, who was attending a committee meeting at the ground (scene of his 100th hundred in an Ashes game) and came over to chat when he recognised former colleague Peter Squires, the Yorkshire cricketer and British Lions winger who looks after Deuchars sales in the north of England.
"Nice to see you, you pissy-arsed little shagger," Boycott addressed Squires affectionately. It was a term he'd used for Squires once before, when as captain of the White Rose county he'd bollocked each of his squad members after a dreadful session in the field. To the hilarity of team mates, Squires had taken it as a compliment and thanked his skipper.
After a non-alcoholic lunch (honest injun), and in front of 30 bemused schoolchildren, the titanic battle for the MAshes resumed. With a batting line-up of star batsmen, Deuchars scented MAshes victory for the first time ever, but they struggled from the start.
Martin Semmens, director of the marketing agency Elvis Communications, ripped through the innings. Bowling at medium-fast for the first time in years, he dismissed MCC-playing member Toby Drummond of Holts for an elegant 43 (a stupendous boundary catch by Goodyear), and Sanjay Patel, ex-Deuchars and now Bulmers marketing manager, for an effortless 41.
Scotland star Ryan Watson got to 47. But after Deuchars skipper Steve Crawley was adjudged lbw when half way down the wicket, that was pretty much it, skipper Miller taking the last wicket on one leg to win by 23 runs.
Semmens, who works regularly with Mitchells & Butlers, returned figures of 5-31 off eight overs and was named man of the match.
As Leeds city centre and the other big matches beckoned, William Lees-Jones called mate Roy Ellis and an area of the local Revolution bar was screened off for the teams to watch Man U's eventual victory over Chelsea.
Lees-Jones was exultant and the champagne flowed long into the night. All just another day in the life of pub-trade people.
