There is no one area in my pub that could easily accommodate such a table, and the ensuing throng of pool players, their cues and the assorted space required for them to rest their drinking vessels while they argue over the rules.
A pool table is, without doubt, one of the greatest ways to attract customers to your establishment. They'll stay longer as they move from best-of-three to best-of-five frames, they'll keep putting money on the side of the table as new players come along, and entering a pool league will ensure as busy a night at the bar as darts does.
Yet I still can't justify the space to put a table. I've even looked at taking the seating out of the smoking shelter and putting a pool table out there instead, but I'm not sure the current cold, damp spell would do it any good.
So I've bought a Wii.
True, Malachy and Jacob - my eight- and five-year-old boys - seem to think it has been bought solely for their use and have stopped speaking to me since discovering that the Nintendo's permanent home is securely connected to the big screen in the Public Bar, and it's fair to say that one or two of my regulars think I might just have gone a little bit barking by adding this feature to the pub's entertainment selection, but I think it might just work.
Video games in pubs aren't exactly new, and more than once I've looked at putting a retro Space Invaders Table in to the bar area, but the Wii just seems to offer a little bit more.
Without pouring sycophancy over Nintendo's impressive latest foray into the video games market, the Wii offers something a little more than other video game systems on the market at the moment, and makes it perfect for the pub environment.
The wireless controllers (you can add up to four) mean that you don't have to worry about other customers being garrotted by miles of wire on their way to the bar and the intuitive motion sensors mean that customers can get truly immersed in the game play.The Wii excels at sporting games, which in turn lend themselves to the nature of pub goers, and the plethora of games available on the market means that, as landlords, we can put on challenges that suit sporting events going on at the moment.
In the build-up to Calzaghe's fight on Saturday night, Wii Boxing took place in the pub, with customers challenging each other on screen to see who could possibly be the next light heavyweight champion.
Super Mario Kart provided hours of entertainment during the build-up to the Formula One finale, and tennis is a regular favourite.The imaginatively titled "Wii Wednesdays" provide customers with a free-for-all on the selection of Wii games we have and one Sunday each month we hold the Tharp Wii Championships, where players take each other on in a variety of on-screen sporting events to see who can hold the title of Wii Champion.
The inclusion of a Nintendo Wii in our entertainment offering to customers has even caught the interest of local media, with BBC Radio Cambridge asking me to do an interview with them on the breakfast show on Wednesday morning.
Of course, there are rules to be obeyed.Every customer must ensure they wear the wrist strap and plastic sheath over the controller to protect themselves, other customers and, most importantly, my television from damage, and each player has to sign a disclaimer when they take part in the events.
But it does mean that the next time somebody walks in and asks where the pool table is, I can tell them we don't have one. But we do have a ten-pin bowling alley...
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Funniest media cartoon of the day has to go to the Daily Mail, where Mac has depicted two aging customers sitting on their own in an empty pub looking miserable. The landlord, reading a newspaper, turns to his colleague and says "I haven't the heart to tell them that MPs are thinking of banning these "happy hours".