Chris Maclean: A pox on the scrimpers and savers

In this week's BII magazine there is a short article on saving money. Its a popular topic in the magazine. But in this instance it is about the costs associated with milk.

Let me quote the article: "a cost saving of over £2,000 was identified when the team realised they were overfilling milk jugs on the tea/coffee trays. A rough estimate of 10p of surplus milk, multiplied by 60 trays a day for 364 days a year adds up to £2,184. 'Its all in the detail' says Ben."

Lord save us from such detail. This is the kind of penny-pinching mentality that drives me to distraction. Allegedly American Airlines cut one olive from each of its salad offerings and saved themselves $40,000. There are far too many suits out there paring costs, cutting back on perceived waste and claiming to save money. These people are often idiots.

Increasingly I despair when I order tea to discover that the offering has been so treated. A nasty pot of tea, no hot water, no biscuit and insufficient milk. Occasionally I resort to telling the staff "your jugs are lovely, but a little small". My wife scowls.

But these petty savings crop up elsewhere. A miserly butter portion, sachets of sauces, seven olives on a dish and an additional charge for bread. I am certain this arouses the senses of the accountants and book keepers out there but, in truth, I despise this attitude.

A decent plate of fish and chips, staple food for those who live near the sea, is a travesty when you are presented with a dish containing four sachets of tartare sauce. When you open them all, the sum total is scarcely a teaspoonful. You feel greedy opening another. Yes, it pleases the accountants, but what if it displeases the customers?

Maybe I am unusual. Maybe I am over-sensitised to the process, but I am increasingly recognising, and returning to, places which deliver a complete package.

I like a full bottle of Heinz ketchup. I like a full, new, pot of Colman's mustard. I like a jug of steaming hot water next to my pot of tea. I like big, ugly lumps of yellow butter for my bread.

I like places where the accountants and the suits haven't pared everything down to the bone.

On Monday, after almost ten days of not drinking beer (not of my choosing) I had the opportunity to have a couple of pints. I chose to go to a favorite pub of mine near here. A pub where the sandwiches are cut in door-steps. Where cheese oozes from the sides. Where the beer is from the cask and the food shows more honesty than any member of Parliament.

I believe I am not alone. I believe customers do recognise the difference. I believe they seek out those businesses that deliver beyond the basic.

These are the businesses which have integrity. These are the ones I will support.

And a pox on those that measure milk into jugs - your hospitality is mealy-mouthed and unkind. I want no part in such practices. If you are hospitable, be so. If not, perish.