Chris Maclean: How to deal with an unhappy neighbour?

As Hop Festival approaches the war with my neighbour intensifies.

Hop Festival, an annual feast of beer, music, drinking and morris dancing transforms our town for one weekend a year. Under the guise of the hop-picking season thousands descend into Faversham for the revelries. It is good business. No, better, it is fantastic business.

Last year, in order to capitalise on it I arranged for a dozen bands, over the course of the weekend, to provide entertainment. It was a huge success. But my neighbour was deeply upset.

Now, with not long to go, he is preparing for battle. Already he has been in deep conversation with the council, he's attempted to rally support (unsuccessfully) from other neighbours and he's made an approach to me.

His objection is that the noise created in my car park is totally unacceptable. Too loud, too intrusive and totally compromises his quality of life.

In my defence I argue it is once a year, two nights only, finishes at 11.00pm, is at a noise level acceptable to the local council last year and arouses no complaints from any other neigbours. But we are dealing with tricky legislation here.

My premises licence does not permit live music. Period. But I am allowed 12 Temporary Event Notices (TEN) which can permit it. Interestingly these TENs are not granted, they are a certainty, although they must fulfil certain criteria. They have to be agreed unless the police, in specified circumstances, object on the grounds of Crime Prevention. Furthermore no conditions can be attached to them.

It would seem that, for a maximum of twelve events a year, you can provide 24 hour drinking with music and late refreshment without constraint. Providing the police do not object - and there are ways of limiting this - you have a free hand.

As Michael Caine said "Not a lot of people know that".

But my neighbour knows the law. He's well read, intelligent and articulate. He is calling on the Environmental Protection Act. This legislates on noise and nuisance. Sadly this embraces his vexatious protests (interestingly, something that could be squashed under the Licensing Act) so that, having bullied and pressured the local council officers, they are frightened of him and dance when he tells them to. For a couple of hours in the evening there is a possible "nuisance". That is his complaint. He has his own noise meter, for pity's sake. What reasonable person owns their own noise-meter unless they are out for a fight?

I've offered to pay for hotel accommodation ("What? Are you driving me and my family from our home?"). I've tried to reason.

I've trawled the internet for comforting advice. I don't believe he has a solid case. I suspect, if the law has to be fully applied, that he will not win. Reason has to prevail.

But it leaves a dirty taste in your mouth. There are times when I think about throwing throw in the towel.

But I shall not. Its the principle.