Pub Bitch: Banger this Valentine's Day
Something for the ladies
It was 'three cheers' for CAMRA from 'dashing' culture minister Ben Bradshaw at the group's Parliamentary reception last week. Glass of beer in hand and bearing an uncanny resemblance to a mature Hugh Grant (Surely shome mistake. Ed.), Bradshaw praised the virtues of both real ale and real cider. His only blip came when reflecting on how women - yes even women - were sampling brews and "enduring" them, before correcting himself and adding "enjoying". At the same bash All-Party Parliamentary Beer Group chairman John Grogan MP, set to lose his Selby seat in a round of boundary changes at the next election, appeared demob happy. "In my office we have two sayings: 'there's no tomorrow' and 'let's have a party every week!'" Grogan was then presented with a CAMRA lifetime achievement award by Hugh Grant. Sorry, Ben Bradshaw.
British OJ and Pub Association
Staying with the CAMRA Parliamentary shindig thing, I observed Jacqui Smith, former Home Secretary, enjoying a glass or two of the cask ales which were on offer on the night. I also gleaned that Smith had recently signed up as a member of CAMRA, which is marvellous if somewhat tempered by the knowledge that politically her ability to do very much for the trade these days appears to be minimal. Still, at least she drinks cask ale. BBPA chief executive Brigid Simmonds was doing the rounds at the event last week clutching an orange juice. Maybe she was driving. Maybe she doesn't like beer…
Vinnie markets Snatch to Yanks
Former footie hard man-turned actor Vinnie Jones has plans to open a chain of British-themed pubs on the other side of the Pond with fellow Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels star Jason Statham. Jones, who I once saw get booked within seconds of the kick-off during his Chelsea playing days, told a red-top newspaper he wants to call one of the venues he plans to unveil in California The Snatch Bar. Apparently this is a reference to his appearance in Snatch, the film in which he starred and which was directed by fellow pub licensee Guy Ritchie. Any other interpretation is simply your filthy minds…
Banger this Valentine's Day
Fancy getting your gums wrapped round a great big 'Love sausage' this St Valentine's Day? No, seriously, before you write in complaining about the filth you read on this page, an aphrodisiac Love Sausage — "big enough for two" — is the latest brainwave of those wild and crazy people at the Pink Pig Farm, in Lincolnshire. According to the blurb, the massive banger will give "couples the chance to get their teeth into some serious romance this Valentine's Day". The pork sword is the size of six normal sausages and "filled with ingredients designed to raise the temperature in the bedroom as well as the kitchen", such as aphrodisiacs ginger and apricot. Meaty enough to make anyone's eyes water, I reckon…
Signage by numbers
There is often a bit of a hullabaloo surrounding the requirement of pubs to adequately sign facilities in their premises. I came across this very helpful example (above) while in a pub in the Dorset town of Blandford. According to an entry on BeerInTheEvening dating back seven years the pub in question is quiet during the week but starts jumping at the weekend and is known for having "the best-looking barmaids for miles". Pity the same can't be said for the toilets…
Send your stories and pictures about people in pubs to pubbitch@thepublican.com
