Pub Bitch: More World Cup balls and violence in the City
Violence is golden
For many licensees bankers are the cause of the country's financial woes — after Gordon Brown, that is. But lest you feel like remonstrating with one of our besuited chums in the street, be warned; US 'combat training expert' Tim Larkin is in town to show these people how to defend themselves. The man who US Navy Seals, Scotland Yard types and the FBI consult about dealing with a "kill-or-be-killed" situation is in London this week showing entrepreneurs and bank executives some smart self-defence techniques. Or, as he puts it, "how to use extreme violence as a tool, including how to kill in four easy moves". Mmmm, sounds lovely. Most people, Larkin says, "feel very uncomfortable with the idea of violence because we have stigmatised it so much. I try to impress on students that violence is just another tool". Who'da thought stigmatising violence could turn out to be a bad thing…
No Bish-bashing at breakfast
Hats off to Nick Bish, head gardener at the Association of Licensed Multiple Retailers (ALMR), for walking off with the 'Hiding To Nothing' Award last week after appearing on BBC TV's 'Breakfast' programme to discuss the proposed lowering of the drink-driving limit. Also on the sofa were relatives of a man killed by a drunk driver, suggesting Bish would be bashed before most people had finished their cornflakes. As it turned out the lad acquitted himself quite well. He suggested stronger penalties and better enforcement were the answer rather than reducing the current 80mg limit, and bigged up pubs' efforts to deter drink-driving. And when he was asked about people who do get into their cars drunk and leave a trail of mayhem in their wake? "Throw the book at them," was his no-nonsense reply. You tell 'em Bishy boy, you tell 'em...
World Cup shot-stoppers
In the most incongruous World Cup/pub link we've seen, sexual health charity the Terence Higgins Trust has urged barstaff to keep their pub's condom machines filled to the brim to "keep amorous sports fans safer from sexually transmitted infections during the tournament". The Trust says: "With previous major sporting events attracting an increased demand for condoms, it's likely that this year's World Cup tournament will prove no exception for increased post-sporting action." Singer Beverley Knight, who fronts the Trust's 'Scoring without getting an own goal' World Cup campaign (hilarious. Ed.) says: "There's nothing likely to put you off your game more than an unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection this summer, so let's make safer sex sexy again." And you thought your punters were in the pub to watch some football…
Breakfast of champions
Continuing the World Cup theme, white-coated boffins have predicted we Brits will consume 47 million extra takeaways and an additional 211 million beers during the festival of football, presumably to help ease the pain of watching England play like a bunch of girls. There's yet more to get in a flap about, since over the course of the tournament we'll be eating much less fruit and veg. Shock, horror etc. Ron Maughan, professor of sport and exercise nutrition at Loughborough University, said: "While the occasional indulgence will not harm you, this research suggests some of the guys watching the World Cup will consume an awful lot of what, when eaten in such high volume, are unhealthy items." ZzZzZzz......
Half-time oranges
Still in South Africa, I see those Bavaria Brewery boys could teach Cotswold brewery Hook Norton a thing or two about 'ambush marketing'. Hook Norton nearly ran foul of FIFA, the game's governing body, after producing a cask ale to celebrate the 'FIFA World Cup'. While that situation was resolved more or less amicably, the Bavaria Brewery lot went a stage further, and not for the first time. In a stunt which cost ITV World Cup pundit Robbie Earle his job, a bunch of orange-dressed lovelies used tickets they weren't entitled to enter the stadium and dance about during Holland's game with Denmark to highlight Bavaria's beer, which is actually brewed in Amsterdam. Since Budweiser is the World Cup's 'official beer', umbrage was taken, and the girls shown the door. The ensuing publicity for Bavaria must have saved them millions in marketing costs…
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