Pub Bitch: Separated at birth
The laughing policeman
One of the themes at this year's National Pubwatch conference, held in Liverpool, was tackling misconceptions. You know the sort of thing; expunging the 24-hour drinking myth and the binge-drinking capital tag that persists despite all the evidence pointing to declining drinking rates. So with this in mind it was perhaps unwise of chief inspector - and Newcastle United fan - Jon Stoddart to crack a joke about thieving scousers. He told the home crowd that the £35m Liverpool FC paid for the Toon's star striker Andy Carroll only covered the 'roll' part of his name. Wait for it… because they'd 'nicked the Car' already. Cue groans from the crowd and a taxi for Stoddart.
Foaming at the mouth
Our friends over at the Daily Mail - surely the pub trade's favourite newspaper - last week reported that a beer's been produced by a Scottish brewery that is so strong that just one mouthful - one mouthful, mind! - will put one over the drink-driving limit. And guess what, cries the paper in moral outrage? A pub in Birmingham has only gone and put it "behind the bar"! Coming in at 41 per cent ABV, the beer is called Sink The Bismarck and costs a whopping £55 for a 330ml bottle, the Mail snorts, derisively. What is the world coming to, you might ask, plaintively? The thing is, as Publican readers will recall, 'STB' was unveiled 12 months ago by those PR-hungry types at BrewDog, yet it seems the Mail has only just cottoned onto the latest assault on the nation's moral fibre.
Beer strikes back
Speaking of the Mail, I was interested to read in the latest issue of BIIBusiness magazine a 'Q&A' with Fuller's group managing whatnot Simon Emeny. He was asked what advice he'd offer a struggling licensee - "be honest with yourself" - and what he liked about the pub game, to which he replied this would be "the memories we create for our customers; I don't think any other retail business will ever have the ability to do that". We're with you there, squire. But what grabbed my attention was what he least liked about the pub sector: "I really object to the vilification of our industry by the likes of the Daily Mail. It's unjust and poorly recorded," Simes thundered. "We provide newspapers in our pubs for customers to read. This does not include the Daily Mail," he added, stony-faced (we reckon).
Separated at birth
Fresh from the launch of Stella's new Cidre, has AB InBev's Stuart MacFarlane been moonloghting as a taxi driver on CBeebies? (see pic right).
Caption competition
What's going on in this photo? What is the orange footballer-turned-TV presenter (standing next to our very own Matt Eley) thinking? And what has Al Murray just read in The Publican that has made the man look so grumpy? Suggestions to the usual address…
Last time around…
Our recent 'giant Heineken can on wheels' caption competition prompted a deluge of suggestions, and our thanks go to all those who submitted entries. After debating long into the night in smoke-free rooms, we've chosen (cue drum-roll)… Paul Collins's entry, which appears below. Well done Paul, you'll be delighted to know that we've gathered some promotional product crap that's been lying around the Publican office for a while and bunged it in the post for you. Enjoy!
