BISC calls preliminary meeting

As you are all aware, the BISC is about to reconvene; once more bringing the pubcos under the spotlight.

Many of you have, quite understandably, expressed frustration at the lack of tangible progress made thus far. Indeed, the mindset amongst many is that this latest saga offers little prospect of an alternative outcome.

Well, for you pessimists out there, there's good news.

Last week, several of the most influential members of the BISC held a preliminary meeting. They kindly invited me along to sit in on proceedings and I have to admit to being highly impressed with the evident fervour and passion displayed.

The concern shown for the plight of tied tenants was all too evident; we should all take great heart from this, it bodes well for the future.

It's clear that the BISC mean business and the meeting highlighted the determination of committee member to get to grips with the REAL issues affecting the trade.

The following is an extract of the minutes taken. I'm sure the sentiments expressed by the committee members will offer immense reassurance, making it abundantly clear that our destiny is in good hands.

Meeting to take action​

Chairman:​ "Right, this meeting has been called as a follow up to the forty three previous ones. We're here to find ways of stopping the systemic abuse of tenants by immoral pubcos. Anybody got any suggestions?"

Member 1:​ "Yeah! We've got to get up off our asses and stop just talking about it."

Collective Voice:​ "Yeah Yeah."

Member 2:​ "I agree. It's action that counts not words. We need action and we need it now."

Member 3: ​"You're right! We could sit around here all day, talking, passing resolutions making clever speeches........"

Member 4: ​"We've got to stop gabbing on about it, it's completely pointless and it's getting us absolutely nowhere."

Member 5:​ "I agree. This is a complete waste of time. The time for talking is over. We need to start doing something!"

Collective Voice: ​ "Yeah Yeah."

Door opens. Frantic woman bursts in.

"My husband Brian is in trouble. The bailiffs have gone in. They're going to kick him out of his pub. You've got to do something about it right now!"

Member 1: ​"Right! This calls for immediate discussion."

Member 2: ​"Absolutely."

Frantic woman:​ "What?"

Member 2:​ "New motion?"

Chairman:​ "Yes. A completely new motion! Err.....that there should be err.....immediate action......."

Member 1:​ "Once the vote has been taken...."

Chairman:​ "Well obviously once the vote has been taken.....we can't act on a resolution until we've voted on it. So in the light of this fresh information we need to reach a consensus that will enable us to draft a resolution outlining possible strategies or policies that err.......might or then again might not be adopted at err....some unspecified point in the future."

Member 5:​ "What's the difference between a policy and a strategy?"

Chairman: "Good question. Anybody?"

Member 3: ​ "Well I think the member raises an important point. I think we need to clarify this before we go any further....."

Collective voice: ​"Yeah Yeah."

Chairman:​ "Anybody have any suggestions?"

Member 4:​ "Perhaps we need to schedule another meeting to discuss it further...."

Chairman:​ "Excellent idea! Make a note of that member two - meeting to be scheduled to define our terminology."

Frantic woman:​ "What are you lot on about? Stop it!!!!"

"While you're sitting here talking, Brian is getting kicked out of his pub! He needs your help now!!!"

Chairman:​ "Well, we can't take action until we have a resolution in place."

Frantic woman:​ "For God's sake!! Aren't you going to do anything?"

Member 2:​ "We are doing something. We're having a meeting, aren't we? After all, we didn't get where we are today without having meetings."

Frantic woman: ​"Talk. That's all you lot ever do, isn't it? That's not going to help my Brian, is it?"

"You've been having meetings for the last SEVEN bloody years. Isn't it about time you all stopped talking complete and utter bollocks, got up off your asses and actually DID something?"

Chairman: ​ "Well, I think the lady raises an interesting point. Make a note of that member two. Schedule a meeting to discuss the lady's proposal."

Collective voice:​ "Yeah Yeah."

Chairman: ​"Now then. Any other business before we adjourn for lunch?"

(To view the meeting — see below).