Have you been bullied? Part II

In one of my earlier blogs​ I reminisced about my school days.

A recent invitation to take part in a cricket match between an 'old boys' team and the current school senior eleven gave me the opportunity to return to the educational establishment that had been home for the majority of my formative years.

Arriving somewhat early, the Headmaster invited me to join him on his daily walkabout. It quickly became apparent that much had changed since my time there.

State of the art computer labs, superb sports facilities and a brand new library all bore testimony to the fact that the school had embraced modernity.

However, as we strolled past the sixth former's common room, a familiar sound filled the corridor; one that brought the childhood memories flooding back.

Whack..........AHHHhhhhhhhh..........Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh...........Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh....

I suspect it was my presence that prompted the headmaster; albeit somewhat reluctantly it must be said, to investigate. Entering the room, we were greeted by the sight of a young lad bent over, clutching his ankles. One of the senior boys stood over him, cane in hand.

"Ah, morning school bully" said the headmaster, seemingly unperturbed.

"Good morning sir."

Is that young Barton-Hall you've got there?" the headmaster enquired.

"It is sir."

"What's he been up to this time?"

"Caught him with a pack of fags sir."

"That's not really a problem is it?"

"Well it is actually; you see he didn't buy them from me. Little ****** bought them down town didn't he?"

Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh.....

"How do you know that?" asked the headmaster.

"I don't sell Marlboro."

"Well I can see your dilemma. If the rest of the boys get wind of this they'll all be buying out! You need to nip this in the bud school bully, before it gets out of hand."

"My thoughts entirely sir. Rest assured, by the time I've finished with him he won't contemplate buying out again!"

"Jolly good. These lads are in need of fatherly guidance, so carry on the good work. Errr.....that said, try and keep the noise down, will you? My office is just up the corridor and I have some parents arriving to see me shortly."

"Will do sir."

And with that we left.

Returning to the headmaster's office we found the parents already there, waiting patiently. The headmaster poured tea and invited them outline their concerns.

"I'll get straight to the point" said Mr. Barton-Hall. "On prize day last year, the deputy headmaster gave a speech in which he claimed that 98.4% of bullying had been 'eradicated'. Headmaster, I beg to differ. Bullying is rife in this school and I would suggest that you and your colleagues are turning a blind eye to the activities of the bullies.

Perhaps you should leave the confines of your office from time to time and take a stroll behind the bike shed? That way you might see what's really going on!"

"Bullying you say?" The look of incredulity on the headmasters face was worthy of an Oscar nomination. "I must concur with my colleague on this" he continued, "we've come down hard on this rather unsavoury practice. It really is no longer an issue."

Unfortunately for the headmaster, it was at this precise moment that school bully felt obliged to offer Barton-Hall junior some additional fatherly guidance.

Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh..............Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh.....

"What in God's name was that?"

"The theatre group" the headmaster calmly replied. "They're rehearsing for an upcoming performance."

"Well anyway, our son informs us that he's forced to buy his cigarettes from school bully. Do you have any idea how much he's charging?"

"Err......no."

"Fifteen pounds! Fifteen bloody pounds for a pack of fags!!! My son can buy them in the shop for a fiver. These are extortionate prices headmaster; quite frankly school bully is taking the piss!"

"Not only that" interjected Mrs Barton-Hall, "he's now insisting that the boys buy their crisps, chocolate and doughnuts from him as well; needless to say at an extortionate mark up. What's next, school meals?"

"Well it's funny you should say that" replied the headmaster "because only this morning school bully outlined plans to open a cafeteria. He has however given me cast iron assurances that attendance will be optional."

More activity next door.

Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh..... Whack....AHHHhhhhhhhh.....

"What sort of establishment are you running here headmaster?"

"I'm sure it's nothing more than a couple of isolated incidents. Leave it with me; I'll get to the bottom of this" he replied.

Once the parents had left school bully was summoned.

"Errrr.....there have been complaints" said the headmaster, somewhat tentatively.

"What do you mean complaints?" asked school bully in bemusement. "Surely you can see the problems I'm facing here headmaster. We can't trust these boys; they need a firm hand. Anyway you're still getting your cut so what are you complaining about?"

"Errr.......yes well.......errr......I don't think Mr. Sayles is interested in hearing about our private arrangement...."

Just as I was about to suggest otherwise, the headmaster continued.

"It's all the negative publicity we're starting to get. Parents have stopped sending their boys to our school; we need to do something to restore confidence.

We need to convince people we've changed; try and show them that the welfare of these lads is our top priority. Any idea as to how we can go about this school bully?"

"Absolutely! We need to find out who's been complaining and give him a damned good hiding."

"Err....well, that's not quite what I had in mind" replied the headmaster.

"Well, I suppose I could lay off the cold showers for a while. Would that help? Or perhaps round up a few second formers and 'encourage' them to say they're very happy with the school."

"Errr... yes well thank you for your....errr.....input; you can go. Perhaps we can continue this discussion later."

"Come on Bob", said the headmaster, "let's go and play some cricket".

A few weeks later the local newspaper ran a feature on the school. Following numerous complaints by parents it seems a new code of practice was implemented; an attempt to address the problem of bullying.

I wonder if this has made any tangible difference or whether it amounts to little more than a public relations exercise. Call me a cynic, but experience tells me that there's invariably a huge discrepancy between claims made in glossy brochures and the day to day realities of life in the field.

Of course the only way of really knowing would be to take a stroll behind the bike shed.

I wonder what I'd find.

Would young Barton-Hall still be clutching his ankles, or is it feasible that he and school bully might be enjoying a friendly game of conkers?

I don't know. What do you think?