A bit of courtesy goes a long way

The piece was in response to David Cameron’s £8m spend on answering the same question, but the paper had come up with some surprisingly simple (read: obvious) things that make us Brits happy.

Seeing someone in a Porsche getting done for speeding, for example. I understand that. Or the smell of Play-Doh. I definitely get that. Anything that reminds me of happier times as a kid makes me smile.

There were other suggestions, too: walking around naked when you’re home alone, for example, or having a wee in the sea, because we British are simply the classiest of nations.

But there, straight in at Number Ten, was something that apparently makes everyone happy but is guaranteed to get me (and, I suspect, other publicans) a bit miffed: “getting away with using a pub/restaurant toilet without buying a drink.”

Really? Does that actually make people happier than finding a fiver in an old pair of jeans?

Now I appreciate that when somebody is absolutely busting for the toilet and there isn’t a public convenience around, they’re going to have to find somewhere to nip in and relieve themselves.

I genuinely don’t mind this and have had to do the same in the past, especially with young children in tow.

But I feel guilty about calling in on a McDonalds because I’m busting for a pee and then not buying myself a McChicken Sandwich Meal; invariably I part with my cash.

The layout of our pub is such that people can come in and go to the toilets without passing through either of the bars and so, when it’s busy, we have no idea whether anybody’s used the loos without being a customer or not, but when it’s quiet it is hugely frustrating to watch a car drive in to the car park, and then back out again a few moments later.

You wonder what it was they spotted that stopped them coming in to the pub, until you realised you did hear the doors to the toilets open and close.

I’m not suggesting that people must purchase a pint of beer in order to use the facilities, but what makes me happy is when they stick their head around the door and ask if we mind if they nip to the loo before they carry on their journey.

I never say no.