26 Things You Don't See in the Pub Anymore

By Mike Berry

- Last updated on GMT

Related tags: Public house, Bar

Cribbage: Do you still have it in your pub?
Cribbage: Do you still have it in your pub?
Following the Good Pub Guide's controversial claim that thousands of pubs are "stuck in the 1980s", the PMA reminisces about the things from that era - and even further back - that you don't see in pubs anymore.

The list is as follows:

1. Mammoth-like Alsatians barking on the roof

2. Foil ashtrays

3. Punched-in toilet doors

4. Toilet chains without a handle

5. Public bars charging less per pint than in the saloon bar

6. Sawdust on the floor

7. Formica-topped tables

8. Bar billiards

9. Missing locks on toilet cubicle doors

10. Light and bitter

11. ‘Character’ landlords

12. Cribbage

13. Men in gravy-stained suits nursing a pint, a whisky chaser and the Racing Post

14. Seafood salesmen

15. Solitary crusty liver sausage roll on the bar under a plastic lid

16. ‘Saucy’ toilet doors — a nut on the ladies’ loos and a screw on the gents

17. Gambling, normally three-card brag

18. People who resemble either pirates or those old illustrations of Guido Fawkes

19. Celebrity lookalikes — one local had Fred Astaire (as he looked in the disaster movies) John Wayne and Malcolm Allison

20. Off-licences attached to pubs

21. Banned customers arguing with the landlord, presumably with a view to being reinstated

22. ‘Pavement pizza’ in the pub ‘garden’

23. Being asked, ‘straight glass or a jug?’

24. Hearing somebody else ask the barman: “B&M, 20 Dilly and a box of logs” (or, in English, brown and mild, 20 Piccadilly and a box
of matches).

25. Beer mats and people ‘flicking’ them off the table and catching them

26. A building brick on the bar with a pile of Swan Vestas on top.

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