Oh Hugh, far too casual
Whilst speaking at the ALMR's recent annual lunch I could not resist commenting on the Six Continents' AGM, Mr Hugh Osmond and his "casual appearance". Realising that Mr Osmond probably spends and makes millions in the same way as we mere mortals spend and make hundreds. It did seem inconceivable to me that he didn't invest 50p on a phone call to ask the question: "What sort of persons will make up the audience at the meeting?" I could have told him that many were elderly retired Bass employees/shareholders who still took the view that brown shoes east of Ascot was a flogging offence! Let's not forget the lengths some persons will go too if they want something that bad. The first Bourbon King (no, not Jack Daniels) of France, Henry of Navarre had to embrace Catholicism to secure the throne in 1589 as Henry IV. He later famously stated that "Paris was worth a Mass". Surely Mr Osmond, Six Continents was worth a tie! Indeed, if Hugh Osmond had Martin Grant's tailor would he now also have 6C? I wonder. Clear the air on smoking Apart from a semi-serious attempt with a strange substance (circa 1977) to try to make the Incredible String Band's music appealing, I have never smoked. Well, okay the odd cigar after a few glasses at a LVA banquet. However, I don't fall into the "born again" I-hate-all-smokers category. I was, though, interested in Greene King's David Elliot's views on smoking in pubs. Perhaps influenced by a trip Down Under, he had advocated the need to consider a ban on smoking in pubs only to receive the full "broadside" from sections of the trade for his views. "Ninety per cent of my customers smoke," being a typical comment. I have to say I take the view that if a majority of the population only make up 10% of your clientele then you are missing an opportunity. One of the issues with David's comments was the question of not undermining the "Charter" a fair point. I do though, have some concerns. Are we really saying let's get pubs to comply with the Charter and that is it. If we are, then strategically, we need to think again. Putting a sticker in the window telling me that there is smoke everywhere inside an establishment is not going to attract myself and other non-smokers through the door or appease or satisfy the "health lobby". So what should be done? The industry needs to get around a table and determine a future course. Smoking at the bar should be prohibited everywhere. I know some chains do this already. One day all pubs will. Probably about three minutes after the first successful £100,000 passive smoking damages claim by a former member of staff! An area set aside in every pub for non-smokers would also be a start. Whilst I accept the need for ventilation and good extractors, the crux of my argument depends on the fact that the sector needs to deal with the issue rather than have legislation forced upon it. It cannot go unnoticed that 10 years ago the non-smoking areas in restaurants were the small sections at the back. That is now the part where the smokers reside. All the research shows that the key factor in putting potential customers off pubs is that, believe it or not, they don't want to wake up with their eyes stinging and their clothes having an aroma that reminds them of Guy Fawkes night. Budapest loo is the business I never cease to be amazed whilst visiting pub loos why the vast majority of licensees feel there is something to be gained from having their customers stare at blank walls. Like most men over 40 (okay then, 45) I will read anything whilst paying a visit. If I don't, the same thought always goes through my head: "Is prostrate trouble hereditary? Or were my dad, granddad and great granddad all unlucky!" I recently discovered a superb display of British Victorian water closets. Beautifully framed, it included the full range of Hampton & Sons' models. There was also an entire feature on Thomas Crapper's piece de resistance The Thunderer. Where was the bar/restaurant with this eye-catching display? The Fatal Bistro, Vaciutca 67, Budapest! Game on for St George It has always been a mystery to me how we English celebrate one saint's day, St Patrick's for example, yet ignore our own. True, St George may have been a Syrian and his descendants may have recently been helping our "enemies". It is also a fact that we got him second-hand, buying him off the Genoese and also share him with Catalonia. He is, however, the only saint we English possess. Charles Wells has nobly bombardiered (sic) the trade, rallying support for a national celebration. This year, I see the Pitcher and Piano is undertaking a St George's promotion. Post-licensing law reform we shall no longer have the anomaly where some magistrates think the saint's day is a special occasion and others do not. As I recently told some BII members it should not be too difficult to promote-English real ales and our favourite foods, for example, chicken Tikka Masala! phildixoncmbii@aol.com
