Barman shames sexist customer who abused his staff

By Oli Gross contact

- Last updated on GMT

Barman shames sexist customer who abused his staff
A barman has publicly shamed and barred a 60-year-old customer he accused of being sexist towards female staff in his pub.

Jordan Gleason, founder of Black Acre Brewing Company, condemned a customer who he claims told female staff he "liked looking at their t*** while they washed dishes".

The unidentified customer was barred indefinitely for the offensive behaviour, but he returned and demanded to speak to the manager. So Gleason sat with him and explained why the decision had been taken.

Disrespectful

"He couldn't understand that just because they were working, it didn't mean they deserved his disrespectful language. That these ladies were part of my family, and were human beings, that deserved respect,” Gleason explains in a Facebook post.

The customer was audacious enough to blame his behaviour on female staff for wearing low-cut tops, which Gleason dismisses.

"They aren't objects, and they certainly shouldn't have to wear different clothes because he can't be bothered with showing them any decency or respect," Gleason wrote.

Though the barman loves the pub industry, he admits he's forced to serve some "pretty horrible goblin people".

But he said the abuse he's been subjected to doesn't compare with female staff members' experiences.

Groped, harassed

"The sheer number of times they get groped, or harassed, or treated like objects would blow your mind," Gleason explained.

"The worst of it is how normal their harassers think their behaviour is."

He goes on to call on men who witness sexism to "combat this disease like it's the god-damned plague".

Gleason has been congratulated for his actions, and a Facebook post that explained his decision to bar the customer, which is detailed in full below, has been shared more than 17,000 times.

Facebook post

Today I had to explain to a 60-year-old man why he was banned from the pub.

In January, he made several sexist remarks about the female staff that were working. He told them to their faces that he liked looking at their t*** while they washed dishes, and their a**** while they were pouring drinks. He was told to leave and not come back. He came back last month, and was told we wouldn't serve him. He came back yet again today, and when told he wouldn't be served, he demanded to talk to a manger.

I sat with him for a few minutes as he explained that what he said would have been OK 20 years ago, and that it was just some off-colour remarks. He told me he had apologised, and that he guessed my servers were too sensitive. He then told me that if what he said was a problem then I should tell them not to wear low-cut shirts, and that I should face the dish-washing sink away from customers. But since he apologised, he should be allowed to drink in my establishment because he lives in the neighbourhood and will bring in business.

I told him flatly that wasn't happening, and that what he said to those ladies was incredibly offensive. He couldn't understand that just because they were working it didn't mean they deserve his disrespectful language. That these ladies were part of my family, and were human beings, that deserved respect. They aren't objects, and they certainly shouldn't have to wear different clothes because he can't be bothered with showing them any decency or respect. "But we're men and they're females. Is cleavage just not a thing any more?"

I told him yeah buddy, it's not, and I won't be changing my mind about having him served. He threatened bad publicity, I told him I didn't care, and he left.

I work in the service industry and we get the sheer joy and pleasure of meeting and talking to so many great people in our city. I've met some of my best friends here behind the bar. I live for it man. Connecting people who haven't met, making sure people can relax from a s***** day, or celebrate a great one, or just to simply enjoy a few beers with friends. I've seen wedding proposals, birthday parties, political discussions, deep philosophical debates, neighbourhood organisation, the absolute works. The best of humanity coming together and bonding. That's my JAM. It's one of the biggest reasons I get out of bed in the morning to come in to work day after day.

As absolutely insanely fun as that is, the dark side of this business is we run into some pretty horrible goblin people. Folk who think that just because we're serving, we don't deserve any basic decency or respect. I've been snapped at, mocked, threatened, and insulted about not having a real job. Anybody in this line of work gets used to a degree of it and develops a thicker skin. Here's the thing though, women in this field get infinitely more disgustingly treated. The sheer number of times they get groped, or harassed, or treated like objects would blow your mind. The worst of it is how normal their harassers think their behaviour is. Every single lady in here handles it with grace and aplomb, and I applaud them for it. I've had their backs as we've bounced people out for that trash, but countless times they just deal with it before it even gets to me.

Sometimes the dudes get so worked up that they demand to see a manager, and I get called in to speak with them. Every single f****** time they attempt to appeal to me solely because I'm a man. They try to weasel in with me about how the women are asking for it. That women shouldn't dress that way if they don't want to be stared at. They attempt to explain it away as just "dudes being dudes". It's expected for men to stare at women's breasts and make jokes about how much they want to f*** them. Wink, wink. Of course, you'll understand is what they think, because you also have a d***. What terrifies and enrages me is how every one of them thinks that this is normal behaviour, but also that other men will agree with them.

Men, we often don't see the level of filth that our friends, sisters, and mothers go through every day. We hope to surround ourselves with people who would never treat a woman like that. We live in a safe little bubble. But the reality of this thing? It's an insidious disease that's happening every single day, several times a day and it turns my f****** stomach.

So why am I writing this? I want to acknowledge the struggle of every single woman who will read this. You deserve our respect and to be treated with decency. I want to stand up and say, I'm f****** sick of this. To every dude out there, we need to f****** combat this disease like it’s the god-damned plague that it is. If one of your friends says something s***** about a woman, tell him to shut his f****** mouth. Don't just laugh it off or ignore it. We need to listen when our sisters talk about this and not just blame it on some bad apples. Not just say "not all dudes do that" or "well no one I know would ever do that." Nah man. This is an endemic cultural problem. If we want to start taking our status as gentlemen seriously, we need to do more than just avoiding being a sexist p**** ourselves. We need to open our eyes and fight it everywhere we see it, because the only way this thing gets better is to start calling it out for what it is.

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